Death Satan Black Metal: Let’s Rant!

Alright, so welcome to post number four, “Death Satan Black Metal”, where I’m going to post my first rant. I’m going to start with a rather simple topic for this, being that it is my first (probably of many) rant(s) that I will be posting. It’s a topic that isn’t exactly…uncontroversial within mostly the “extreme” genres of metal, and is often brought up in comments on videos by people who really have no idea what the hell it is they’re arguing about, and are more than likely just trolling in hopes to gain attention or cause a stir.

No, this isn’t going to be a rant about the sometimes-amusing aspects of black metal videos, or the occasional cheesy lines in certain songs.

Nope. This is going to be about “fashion”.

Please, feel free to groan in disgust…

Jari of Wintersun approves of your groans! (Taken from the Gamma Rayquaza page on Facebook.)

…but make sure you continue reading once you’re done so you know just what side of this argument I’m on.

Now that you’re finished groaning (I hope), chances are that I’m probably on your side with this debate…

…so long as “your side” is the side where bands worry way too damn much about how they look in clothes these days, then yeah, I’m actually definitely on your side. Seriously. Certain bands’ obsessions with clothing and appearance these days have just gotten so out of hand. I’m not talking about wearing corpse paint and bullet belts or anything; hell, even those long gowns or “dresses”, as some people like to refer to them as (really, I’m not all too sure to call them myself so we’ll probably stick to ‘gowns’ on this one), are fine by me. Some guys – keep in mind I am a matron – even look pretty good in them, though of course good looks are not the key criteria for making some excellent metal, whatever sub-genre it may be.

AND NEITHER ARE THE GOWNS OR ANY OTHER ELABORATE COSTUME YOU FEEL IS NECESSARY.

Source: metalmemes666.tumblr.com (thanks to Tumblr comrade urdjupet for helping me find this).

Yes, Shagrath, black metal is a form of music, not a fashion statement, though at this point I wouldn’t call your band black metal (rant for another time!) to begin with. If you want to wear corpse paint and look like a bad ass (not being sarcastic with that one) and show off your skill in aesthetics if you think it increases your stage presence and theatrics

Dutch symphonic black metallers Carach Angren show off their sick corpse paint.

then, buddy, go for it.

If you want to get all dressed up for a music video and look the part in something that usually requires you to take on a completely different role and is for the purpose of making yourself look like a bad ass gladiator or something or other

Nergal in Behemoth's "Alas, Lord is Upon Me" music video.

then god damn, do it; because the result, such as the photo posted above, can look incredible.

If you want to wear chain mail or ten pounds of leather or gowns or masks or cover yourself in corpse paint because it fits with your “image” and translates well with your music (don’t go on stage in corpse paint and complete gladiator get-up if you’re in a power metal band unless it’s Halloween) then holy hell that’s your decision.

 

So where’s my rant?

Here it is:

Do. Not. Make this your main focus, and stop being so concerned with what you’re going to wear with your next album. You do not need to be covered head to toe in leather and metal like Mister Shagrath depicted above in order to “be black metal” (whatever the hell kind of black metal he’s trying to be there) or to “be death metal”. You do not need to “look the part” in order to be a part of a black metal band. Corpse paint is not a requirement! Don’t believe me? Try this: it’s a choice.

Emperor chose to ditch their corpse paint and they’re one of the most known black metal bands currently (granted they are not longer together, sadly).

The only two members of Mayhem (the “true” era) to wear corpse paint were Dead and Euronymous.

Dissection is not wearing corpse paint in any of their pictures.

Compare the number of photos of Varg Vikernes with corpse paint to those of him without it. In some of his most iconic photos, he is depicted without corpse paint.

Do I really need to even mention Quorthon.

Do I even need to say Venom.

These guys were the some of the first. These guys laid the freaking foundations for the genre! How often did you see any of them dressed like Behemoth was in the Evangelion photo shoot (except for maybe Varg)?

Not very.

I’m not knocking Behemoth or anything (as I’ve said previously, they are one of my favorite bands and I’m even listening to Evangelion as I type up this rant), but it’s just gotten to the point of being irritating recently. Especially now since so many, SO MANY bands are turning to Toxic Vision for their clothes. It looks like every band is wearing the same damn thing! Your vest does not need to be that elaborate, especially considering the people watching you are either going to be blinded by flashing lights or fog, in complete darkness, or too busy headbanging to even care about how many studs you managed to fit onto your clothes (not that they’d really care anyway). You do not need pentagrams sewn into your jeans, or raggedy-looking outfits that look like you stole them from an orphan before you walked into the venue. You don’t need silk hoods, because honestly we want you to headbang with us and that’s just going to get in the way.

You don’t need to be so fucking elaborate. It is getting to be so unnecessarily showy that it’s almost sickening. I’m not trying to berate Toxic Vision or anything – seriously, that’s not my intention; I’m arguing against the fact that bands feel the need to wear these ridiculous pieces, but I am not attempting to belittle the designer’s efforts (and even if I was, this is my opinion which I am entitled to, and I will post on my blog if I feel is relevant) – but it’s getting pretty annoying when I actually know now what to expect whenever a band announces their allegiance with TV for their new gear.

And it’s getting kind of boring.

First, it was Shagrath’s overly-studded vests and pants, to the point where I personally thought it just looked horrendous and completely over-thought, followed by Behemoth announcing that they were using the same designer for the release of The Satanist, shortly after which I saw photos from Poland’s Impact Fest and was not very impressed (almost let-down by Nergal’s outfit, in fact, and disappointed that Orion’s vest looked incredibly bulky and he had his hair in a pony tail, both of which, it seemed, prevented him from windmilling, though I’m sure there’s a better explanation for that as I am aware he has experienced neck pain from doing so in the past). At some point, Týr had vests made for them for one of the Paganfest tours, which were admittedly better, to me, than Behemoth’s outfits but still extremely over-the-top, and now Turisas has fallen in line with these guys and I could have told you what they would look like before I even saw the pictures.

More than that, as someone commented on a photo for their new album posted to Facebook, everyone is starting to look like they’re in the same band…like TV clothes are becoming a uniform for god sakes. The predictability in the outfits is too high for so many bands to start having TV as the source of their stage outfits. I want to look at Turisas and think “Turisas, Warlord, Olli!”; not look at Behemoth and think “did Seth borrow that jacket from Mathias?”

Before some people start taking this the complete wrong way and before I accidentally make that the focus of this rant, which was not at all my intention but was a relevant portion that needed to be included, let’s move on to comments such as this:

Comment from Bruce Payne on Hate's "Threnody" music video.

"Everybody in the band looks the part, but the singer. He looks like a pussy. they need to find someone better that looks the part. and this band would look and sound really awesome."

He doesn’t look the part.

ATF Sinner

does not look the part

in his own band.

Hate sporting some 'gowns'.

Let me think this over…

Okay, thought about it.

You’re a fucking moron.

So what exactly is it about this comment that gets under my skin? The simple fact that the Mush-For-Brains commenter paid absolutely no attention to the band's sound, and instead let his judgement be clouded purely by how they look, specifically ATF Sinner, the frontman/vocalist/guitarist/founder of the band (the first two photos are actually from the Morphosis era, which is the album that possesses the song in question). He automatically passed judgement on the band solely based off how they looked. Not Sinner's vocals, not Destroyer's guitar sweep at the very beginning of the song, not Hexen's impeccable drumming, not Mortifer's windmilling if we want to focus on visual aspects...nope. None of that mattered simply because, to this shallow individual, ATF Sinner "looked like a pussy". 

So no, it's not just bands that focus far too much on the way they look, it's certain "fans" as well. If you are the kind of idiot who thinks that replacing someone who looks weak or doesn't "look the part" will automatically make a band sound better, you need to hit yourself in the face with a frying pan.

If you are a "fan" who passes judgement on a band based off of how they look and NOT based off their level of talent, you need to hit yourself in the face with a steaming-hot frying pan, repeatedly.

I'm not a purist who is trying to revert back to cardboard-box-quality black metal (as I said, this rant is about clothes, not the music itself) or wearing nothing but black jeans, black leather jackets, black this, black that, bullet belts, corpse paint, and yadda yadda yadda. If you wear that, I don't care. If you wear what Behemoth wore for The Apostasy, I don't care. If you're in the middle like Quazarre and the rest of the Devilish Impressions crew, I don't care. Just do not make clothes your focus. Do not spend so much time worrying about what your next outfit is going to be, or how you can one-up your last one, or how elaborate you can be...or how many damn studs you can cram onto the back of a vest. Wear whatever the hell you want.

Just play some good metal while you do.

KRYPT-Death Satan Black Metal